As far back as I can remember David and I did weekend trips together several times a year. Away from the hustle and bustle of our lives – a time to reconnect and replenish. I looked forward to those special moments between us – his undivided attention; long conversations that would last into the early morning hours. A time of renewal for he and I.
There were walks along the beach, writing in the sand, holding hands and our wonderful finds of great food. Each memory and favorite places are etched in my heart forever.
I remember one of my meetings with my “grieving group” of ladies assembled together our one common thread – we’d all lost our husbands, some to a long term illness others suddenly as in the case with David. The heart wrenching stories that pulled and tugged at my own heart knowing the anguish behind the tears … “I wish I had said or done things differently” seemed to be the theme. I didn’t share that day, I had no regrets and not because my life with David was not marked by struggle or less then stellar moments that transpired between us during our “adjustment” phases of life. I had no regrets only because of how we chose to love one another and live our life together. I can say with certainty that when you truly value, genuinely like the person that you call “your forever” there is a reverence and a respect that is present – even in those tough times. I guarded his heart no matter how mad I was at him, how disappointed and in turn he too was quick to offer the same. We were always better despite those dreaded disagreements and what we found to be truth in our life was a renewed sense of intimacy.
He was my very best friend in all of the world, my dream keeper. To him I told all of my life’s secrets. My encourager, my relational center that kept me accountable and grounded. I trusted him with my heart. I shared at his service that we never allowed anger or unforgiveness to take root in our hearts, we never let the day slip away from us with words unspoken or feelings unexpressed when we found ourselves at odds with one another.
I can only guess that most will read a grieving widow who has immortalized her now dead husband to a state of sainthood. I can assure you I have no rose colored glasses on and that my life is all too real living through my loss, but my story is void of regret. We seized the moments as they came and celebrated our life together every day. We never took for granted the time spent with one another … it was pretty cool to just hang out with my best friend every day. We are never promised tomorrow and I am grateful that we never wasted our time living the same day twice.
I really did have the time of my life …