Let today be a day where you take nothing for granted. For life is fleeting, fragile and precious and can change on a whim. Say all the things you really want to say to your loved ones today, say the things you would regret should they pass on and your words remain unspoken. – Kiddard
The death of my husband was sudden and completely unexpected.
I had no idea that the principles, my husband and I established – early in our marriage would one day serve as an amazing gift, and a wonderful blessing – following his death ~
… nothing <had been> left unsaid.
Learning the language of love and respect began early in my marriage, began with very small steps birthed from a commitment to one another – to honor and cherish. We found a simple truth, how to redirect a poorly spoken comment – simply by our response one to the other. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
We were mindful and intentional to protect <by fostering> the gentleness that is discovered when you first start out, when you’re all “shiny and brand new.” We remained purposeful every day of our life together.
“Words” can always be forgiven but never taken back.
In a recent conversation with my son, I shared that people typically speak from the content of their heart. That is what is most transparent, no matter how eloquent the speech or perhaps, how angry the tone. The greatest communicator indeed is the best listener by far.
I valued the character of the man, my husband, he valued me, his wife – our exchange of words when angry were the expression of our anger absent was the character assassination and no recall of past grievances. In short, we learned to “fight fairly” we also learned how to “agree to disagree.”
We learned to communicate without the barriers, with no assumptions – whatever needed to be said in that day – was always spoken between us. There we found intimacy; a deep abiding love and respect for one another. It is there where trust develops, I trusted him with everything – and for a time, for 30 years anyway – it was the safest place for me.
Today, it serves as a backdrop in my relationships – as a whole, “nothing left unsaid.” I use to come away from situations thinking, “oh I should have said this – or that” … or perhaps “I shouldn’t have said anything at all” ~ Today – I am even more intentional knowing it’s value.
My Father celebrated his 91st birthday this week. I love our conversations, they are poignant, humorous and always filled with a lifetime of shared memories. Time has afforded us the opportunity to say all of things – that we hope we’ll get the chance to say – to our loved ones before they die.
My life has been a series of both gentle and abrupt reminders of how precious time really is. I am only certain of one thing, that loss is a definite part of our journey in life ~ and the process of grieving is difficult enough without the mark of words unspoken.